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Ooooga. Oook! Urrk! (coughing) Excuse me. Fellow citizens, my name is Garry and I need your vote to defeat Curious George W. Bush. I know, I know. Dubya tells great jokes, a real riot at parties. Well, forget all that. Our nation needs more, and at the same time less. What do we need less...of what we don't need more of? (Am I beginning to sound like George?). Top bananas in the highest trees not knowing what they're doing, that's what. Again, I know what you're thinking. Those things are a gibbon, I mean given, when it comes to how things work in Washington. Absolutely true, of course. However, in the current administration, such characteristics are scaling new heights. And I need only say the names Ashcroft, "Dumsfeld", and Poindexter, the three monkeys of the apocalypse, to illustrate this. And, let me say this: like many patriotic Americans, I, too, hate and despise the french for their rude behavior and stupid berets. But I like french fries, and french fries are called french fries because that's what they are. My name is Garry. I am a candidate for the Presidency of the United States. I stand for real leadership, not the other kind--smartness, not dumbness. And on election day, I would really really like it and offer special tax breaks if you would vote for me. Sincerely, Garry |
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