Weasel, Weasel, Weasel, & Weasel

Attorneys at Law



ARE YOU?

  • Tired of leaving messages and never getting a call back?
  • Tired of paying for legal advice that sounds "weird" or even made up?
  • Tired of sitting in a lobby where you can tell what everyone ate?




YOU AREN'T?

Then call the firm of Weasel, Weasel, Weasel, & Weasel for all your Attorney needs.

(IF ANY OF YOUR ANSWERS TO THE PRECEDING QUESTIONS WERE YES, DO NOT CALL THE WEASEL LAW FIRM AS EACH WEASEL ATTORNEY SPECIALIZES IN THOSE FUNCTIONS CITED)


As a client of the Weasel Law Firm, you will be entitled to many invaluable benefits, including free copies of our attorney's business cards, on-the-street metered parking, and complimentary sample-size bottles of mouthwash. (a complete listing of benefits available to Weasel Law Firm clients may be found in sentence 3, paragraph seven, page 47 of the Weasel, Weasel, Weasel, & Weasel publication "Thanks for being a client of Weasel, Weasel, Weasel, & Weasel).

Dealing with the weasel law firm will be easier than anything that ever happened to you in prison. At Weasel, Weasel, Weasel, & Weasel, we make every effort to ensure that ALL your needs are met.

For instance:
  • Need some legal advice but you're feeling a little tired? Just snooze on the couch in our reception area while you wait to see an attorney. Many of our clients do this, whether its to catch up on some needed shut eye or to sleep off a late night booz-fest (please call ahead for seating availability).
  • Need a short-term loan to avoid being evicted while you wait on your settlement money? We have phone books in our lobby to assist you with calling a local bank (change for the payphone may be obtained from the receptionist).
  • In search of an empathetic lawyer who doesn't mind doing Pro Bono work? Ask the receptionist in our lobby for a phone book and search under Attorneys-other


Weasel, Weasel, Weasel, & Weasel is a name anonymous with quality.

Listen to the testimonials of some of our former clients:

"My lawyer got me a disability check faster than any of my neighbors got their checks. I didn't know till we got to the hearing that his brother was the judge on my case, but, like my lawyer said, sometimes its just the little things that make life run a whole lot easier."

"I stole TWENTY THOUSAND DOLLARS WORTH OF SHIT. And I only had to give the lawyer half to keep my ass outta jail. I recommend him a lot!"

"&^%*^*^%*&^(*^*%$^#^%*%*"--english translation: "This attorney was a godsend. He took my damaged existence and made everything whole again. I owe so much to him and I thank the Virgin Mary for his mercy and kindness."

"Read what? On the cue card? What that mean? Oh, it say, 'I had no idea how to solve my legal problems until the friendly attorneys at the Weasel Law Firm came to my rescue'--What?! Why the hell would I say that? I was only twenty miles over the limit and they put me in county jail for three days. And after my lawyer talked to the judge, they added three more days to it."





And there you have it. The words of the people we have assisted say all that, legally, can be said.

So, regardless of your Legal needs or the extent of your ability to pay






don't hesitate for one single moment to contact us at:



Weasel, Weasel, Weasel, & Weasel



Because at the Weasel Law Firm,

We care about you and the money you can pay us.









The firm of Weasel, Weasel, Weasel, & Weasel does hereby certify the following: As determined by commonly accepted methods of IQ testing, Weasel Law Firm attorneys have at least borderline intellectual capacity; each Weasel attorney is guaranteed to have passed the Trinidad/Tobago Bar Exam by not more than five attempts; The firm of Weasel, Weasel, Weasel, & Weasel denies any knowledge of legal proceedings, or expertise, practical or theoretical, in any area of law.

(Allegations to the contrary or statements implying or intimating that Weasel Law Firm attorneys possess IQ levels exceeding the low-average range, or that the Weasel Law Firm and its constituent parts have any competency or expertise with regard to the practice of law will be met with prompt legal action, or some facsimile thereof).








The orifices of the Weasel Law firm







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